Amazon describes the book “The Four Agreements” as offering a powerful code of conduct that can
rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. The author reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering.
I describe is as the “best book per word” I have ever read. This series is on the subsequent book “The 5th Agreement.”
Where they cover and expand upon the original 4 agreements – and add new wisdom.
This takes us to the third agreement: Don’t make assumptions. Making assumptions is just looking for trouble, because most assumptions are not the truth; they’re fiction.
One big assumption we make is that everything in our virtual reality is the truth. Another big assumption we make is that everything in everyone else’s virtual reality is the truth.
We listen to the symbols talking in our head.
We start imagining what other people are doing,
what they’re thinking, what they’re saying about us,
and we dream things up in our imagination.
We invent a whole story that’s only truth for us, but we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions, and we take our story very personally. Then we blame other people, and we usually start gossiping to try to justify our assumptions. Of course, by gossiping, a distorted message becomes even more distorted.
Making assumptions and then taking them personally is the beginning of hell in this world. Almost all of our conflicts are based on this, and it’s easy to understand why. Assumptions are nothing more than lies that we are telling ourselves. This creates a big drama for nothing, because we don’t really know if something is true or not.
Be aware that almost everything you tell yourself is an assumption.
If not taking anything personally gives you immunity in the interaction that you have with other people, then not making assumptions gives you immunity in the interaction that you have with yourself, with what we call thinking. Making assumptions is all about thinking. We think too much, and thinking leads to assumptions.
Humans have a need to explain and justify everything;
we have a need for knowledge, and we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know.
We don’t care whether the knowledge is true or not.
There are so many things that the mind cannot explain; we have all these questions that need answers. But instead of asking questions when we don’t know something, we make all sorts of assumptions. If we just ask questions, we won’t have to make assumptions. It’s always better to ask and be clear.
If we don’t make assumptions, we can focus our attention on the truth, not on what we think is the truth. Then we see life the way it is, not the way we want to see it.