Erase Neediness: The Calm, Confident LO Clients Chase
Neediness is the scent the croc brain can’t stand. It shows up as nervous questions—“What do you think? We can do this if you want?”—and it erodes status instantly. Four forces trigger it: wanting something only the other party can grant, blocked cooperation, outsourcing your mood to their “yes,” and attention shifts that make you chase validation. When you chase, people retreat; when you retreat, people chase.
Enter every interaction with a firm time frame so your nervous system relaxes: “I’ve got twenty minutes for the big idea.” Focus on excellence you can demonstrate rather than approval you can request. Use push-pull lines that keep healthy tension: “There’s a real chance we’re not a fit—and that’s okay. If we are, the combination will be outstanding.” And practice the graceful exit: at the exact moment they expect you to chase, you politely pull away and suggest next steps on your terms. In mortgages, that means not chasing rate shoppers down every rabbit hole, not performing when the decision maker is absent, and not begging for docs. You are the prize; money is the commodity. When you behave like the prize, people qualify themselves for the relationship.