Sometimes truths are said in Jest. Sometimes wisdom comes from humor.  
Sometimes – though rare – it comes from Twitter.   There is a weird twitter handle out there called the Goldman Sachs Elevator (@GSElevator).  Which is a satirical parody account about life working at a place like Goldman Sachs. While a lot of the tweets are obnoxious garbage, if you sift through the feed, turns out there’s actually some salient advice that any man should consider. Here are the 77 rules for being a man, according to Goldman Sachs elevator gossip – so take note (and also with a grain of salt).

“The Goldman Sachs 77 Rules”

Work hard. Eat right. Exercise. Don’t drink too much. And only buy what you can afford. It’s not rocket science.

If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

The grass is greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit.

Throw parties. But have someone else clean up the next day.

‘It is what it is.’ The prevailing crutch of the stupid and inarticulate.

But wait.  ‘Everybody’ says that A LOT.   So this can’t be true.   Wait!   Most people are kinda stupid and inarticulate.   They have a point here.    

I remember reading “Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate” on a bathroom wall 20 yrs ago.  

There’s no such thing as a hopeless situation, just hopeless people in situations.

 If her profile pic’s an 8, she’s a 4. Move on.

So much money lost on picture tricks.   🙁

People who always fly business class don’t post photos of themselves flying business class.

Did you know that people pay real money to take selfies in fake airplane interiors?

Wanna stay together? Spend a lot of time apart.

‘Sorry, I’m bad with names’ is the most polite way of telling people that you are also a fucking idiot.

Nothing says ‘fuck you’ to your family & friends like a destination wedding.

Last weekend booked a trip to a friend’s destination wedding 8/10th of the way around the world.   They aren’t getting a present.   Showed them!

80% of lottery winners go broke because 100% of lottery players are fucking idiots.

One of my favorite stats is that, on average, people are roughly similarly happy 1 yr after winning the lottery as 1 yr from losing a limb.  True story.  Google it

Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.

You can’t prove shit!

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