** More good stuff from “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

People like to feel like they are buying, not being sold.  When soliciting someone- start with the benefit (compliment) to them – then ask for their assistance – then close with compliment.

And smile.   People like people who smile.  They seem happy, and we want to be around happy people.  Even smile when you are talking on the phone.  We all know that the listener can see it.   Don’t feel like smiling?  Force yourself to.  Act as if you are already happy and you will be.

Actions seem to follow feelings but really action and feeling go hand in hand.  Regulating the action – which is under control of the will – we can indirectly affect the feeling.  Everyone is seeking happiness and controlling your thoughts is the only sure way to find it.  Happiness does not depend on outward conditions – its inward conditions.
Abe Lincoln: “Most people are only about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”   Or the Asian proverb:  “A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”
First, arouse in the other person an eager want.  He who can do this, has the whole world with him.  He who cannot, walks a lonely way.   The key to doing this is to think of things from the point of view of the client.   Not yours, or what you think their motivators are.

Harry Ford: “If there is any one secret to success it is the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as yours.”

How do you know?  Ask.  Though as in a way that is a little more creative.  Use “Softeners”.   AKA.. little phrases on the front of sentences to sneak around the critical faculties.

“You know, I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but one of the things I like to do is out about the person I’m getting to know, and I do that by asking questions about what’s important to them.  So, when choosing a Realtor what are the things you are looking for other than the home.”


““You know, I hope you don’t mind me asking this.  I just like to ask this to learn more about your needs instead of assuming that you are the same as my last customer.   I like asking the question of how will you know when you have found the right Loan Officer for you?”


When they bring up price:  “That’s great.  Pricing is very important to us too.   Have you ever thought about that in depth? I kind of go through this one in my own life.  Like when I was buying a car, I wanted the best price.  Though I also knew I wasn’t going to call every dealer in America to know that.   (haha)  Since I go through this with myself, I’m always curious about how others know when they have found THEIR deal.”

I don’t know, maybe or maybe not, you know your world better than me.  So not telling you to use this concept today because it will work.  It’s up to you to decide to better connect with a customer today.