Rule #2: Behavior and change are only evaluated in terms of Context and Ecology
Right vs Wrong and Good vs Bad are very subjective. Does this work or not is a lot less arbitrary.
NLP focuses on what is effective – and whether or not the things that drive our lives are serving us or not.
Drugs serve as an interesting example. In the last post I wrote about “assuming positive intent” in people’s thoughts and actions. Meaning that it’s important to respect someone’s model of the world by assuming they are going to act in a way that THEY THINK (their model of the world) is going to cause a positive improvement in their world.
So let’s use someone killing themselves with a heroin addiction as an extreme example. To an outsider, you can clearly see that killing yourself isn’t a great idea or course of action. However, to the person doing it, being dead or numbing themselves with the drug might be a better option to living. That is their model of the world.
NLP tells us that if you want to change the behavior, you don’t focus on the “right and wrong” of doing drugs. You focus on why they want to feel the way they feel on heroin.
Understand the context of why they are choosing that route.
Then, once you have rapport (again, you don’t have to buy in and do heroin) you can suggest other courses of action. You have to suggest and encourage – telling doesn’t work.
The concept of Ecology was a real eye opener to me as well. In the larger world, the term of Ecology has been taken over by the world of nature, earth, and our physical environment. However, the real concept of Ecology is apply the same IDEAS to the larger world.
NLP teaches it’s practitioners to think of their lives – and the changes they are seeking in people they are trying to influence- in terms of a greater Ecology. Ecology means asking: Is what I am trying to do good for Me AND the person I’m working with AND the larger entity as a whole. In environmental concerns, it means thinking of the World as a whole. In our everyday lives, it might mean our company or family unit
Let’s use ecology in the context of a corporate environment. Almost any company is going to have a salesperson. That sales person is going to want prices to be as low as possible. That why they can sell more an make more money. Then they will defend the concept by saying that the lower prices will help bring on more clients. So we are helping more clients by delivering our world-changing product at a lower price.
It’s a win-win!!!
Unless you are delivering the product at an non-profitable price. Then, like a lamprey fish that sucks the nutrients from the side of a host fish until it eventually dies, this is not Ecological. When you sell products at an unprofitable price long enough the company will either close or investor/owner capital will be allocated elsewhere. Now the entire unit is dead. That is not Ecological. It’s good for you (customer) and good for me (mo $$) but not good for all of us.