Based on Chris Williamson on Joe Rogan Experience #1851. 
Chris Williamson is a podcaster (70m+ downloads) , YouTuber
and club promoter. Currently learning out loud
with guidance from the most interesting people on the planet.

Some things really are “valuable” and some things are just “difficult to get.”  Fancy cars, Expensive clothes, jewelry and the things people brag about on Instagram are just “difficult to get”.  It masquerades as valuable.

People are being told to value things that genuinely aren’t that valuable.

One of the reasons we like social media aps is because it gives you a simulacrum of a community.  It has all of the trappings of “community.”   You can get belonging – shared sense of ideals.   You have to question “is this genuinely valuable to me.”   Is it directed toward something genuinely helpful.

There is a concept called “The Inner Citadel” by Isaiah Berlin.  When the world outside of us denies us what we truly want, we tend to retreat to within to ourselves.  To protect ourselves from the scary ills of the world.

For example:  Let’s say you injure your leg.  And you try to treat the leg.   However, once you can’t find treatment you chop the leg off and announce “The desire for legs is misguided and must be subdued.”

You see this everywhere.   You see this with many “polyamorous” relationships.  They DECLARE that monogamy is not natural and can’t be relied upon.   Just because they cannot stay committed in a relationship that works well.

Or the “body positivity movement”.  Where they DECLARE that weight has no genuine bearing on health and that we need to much more accepting.   Being fat is just as healthy as a normal BMI and the world needs to accept that.  Because they struggle to lose weight.

There are criminals who say “jobs are for suckers.”

These are their Inner Citadels.  They are retreating into their Inner Citadels.   If you cannot win at the game, you change the rules and declare that you never wanted to win anyways.

If you cannot get what you want – you must teach yourself to want what you can get.  Then convince others to not value that thing – so you are not seen as lacking.  

You can see this online now with the backlash of the singer Adele losing weight.  They never really loved Adele.  They loved that she wasn’t the thing that they hated.

How is it that someone who is overweight and an inspiration to people – as long as they stay that way?  However, losing the weight isn’t MORE inspiration?

Because it throws into harsh reflect that they haven’t done that hard bit yet.

And they know that they COULD actually do that part.   They really could NOT do anything to sing like Adele  Though they COULD lose the weight – but they haven’t.

They hate the person to ascends into better – because it gives them hope.    As long as there is no hope – you have an excuse.

The true hell is when the person you are meets the person you could have been.  

Be especially mindful on the topics of religion or politics.   Too many times people expect you to declare yourself as “one or the other.”   Many people will expect adopt – wholesale – every view of the group.  And as soon as you are seen to deviate, it’s seen as a lack of commitment to the group.  Which can be an attack on your self-identity.   Could shun someone from the only community they know.

You are supposed to embrace the unique shape that your life holds!!!

You have to realize that you might have fucked up.  And be willing to admit it to yourself.  You have committed to an ideology or  rigid self-image that is not serving you.  To see the person you could have been.  To see the person you could be.

People who cannot admit they are wrong, are at the biggest competitive disadvantage in the modern world.  Some people will defend their thoughts like they are a part of their body.     You are not your thoughts.   Your thoughts can be wrong without YOU being wrong.

So leave your Inner Citadel.   It is not a betrayal to your group or your definition of your self.   You can get past bad decisions!   It’s OK to admit that those are bad decisions.   Redefine your identity to someone to adapts, overcomes, and thrives.

That community will be better anyways.