People don’t like to be should on, and it’s not effective.

Have you ever noticed that each of us – because we are like everyone else- don’t really like to be told what we “should” do?   And that is the same for the your friends and anyone you are trying to influence or persuade.   Instead, you might be able to replace the “should” with something like “Why might it be….”   As in, Why might it be a good time to start working out?   Or  “you might think about…..”

Or even “maybe, or maybe not, its a good time to start reading now.”   Which is especially cool because it’s impossible for the human brain to process the command of “don’t” or “not” without determining the affirmative.  (i.e…Don’t think of a blue elephant).   That’s why telling a child “Don’t spill your milk” they always spill their milk.   Their brain has to think about spilled milk to know what it is.  Then the table is wet before you get to the part of DON’T.

Want extra credit?   Add a “because”.   You might want to add an about to your suggestion because it works.   As demonstrated in Robert Cialdini’s ground breaking book “Influence” the simple action of adding a “because” to a suggestion/command somehow takes a short cut around the rational decision making faculties.

The reason after the “because” doesn’t even have to make sense.   I once got employee pricing on a purchase at Gap just because, after joking around with the cashier to build rapport, I said “Can I have a discount because I don’t wan to pay that much.”   And she did.

So, maybe or maybe not – I don’t know- you should keep reading out blog because it will definitely make you smarter.