Love this lesson that came from How to Win Friends and Influence people.   I always try to keep it in mind when designing training.   Though it’s crucially important when communicating with clients.   If you remind them that your point of view is what they already know (whether they actually know it or not) will radically increase the probability they will accept your point of view.

It also helps remind and accentuate the power of stories and simile (a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid).   People love stories.  We have been telling them to each other since the beginning of time.   How do we know that?  Because there are stories about it.   Duh.

Especially when the story is something that we can relate to.   When it echos something in our lives, or something that we think, our unconscious minds go “yeah, that’s right.”  Then that is when the Socratic method comes in.   If you can get someone to agree with you 3 times, you have them.   This 3x agreement method is so powerful that it’s literally built into training for hynotists.   The extra beauty is that actually being more vague is better, because it allows them to build their own story.

This great quote also remind me of other lessons from sales greats like Zig Ziglar and others.   Ziglar made the amazing point that “you will never get anyone to change their mind.  However, you might get them to make a new decision based off ‘new’ information.”   If you attack their point, they will just dig in deeping to fight you.   The desire to stay consistent is also one of Robert Cialdini’s 6 core Influence factors.

Or as How to Win Friends says: Few people like to listen to truths that reflect negatively on their judgment.  If you are going to try to change someone’s mind, don’t handicap yourself by letting them know you are trying.  Do it in a way they don’t know you are.  Subtle.  When presenting a new way of doing things, don’t just come in and criticize old and show new.  They will be defensive.  Instead, work with them to help them come up with your system.

So use a lot of phrases like “As you know…” and “It’s like when you…”.   If you can come up with a “have you ever….” that’s a great go at it.

Want a powerful advanced version: Always find a way to disagree with them!!!

I totally agree and I wish I could sell it at that price

I will definitely get you that rate, if it’s available.   Right now the economy isn’t bad enough for it, so this is your best bet until the next recession.

If that house you are describing comes available, I promise I will show it to you IMMEDIATELY.   I looked on MLS and something similar hasn’t come up in your area in a couple of years so do you want to see what’s available now?

I agree that I suck at writing and I’m also sharing some great content.   I’m a better reader than I am a writer, for now, so if you keep reading you will learn some great stuff you wouldn’t read otherwise while I learn to be more entertaining.   😉