another bunch of unsolicited advice.
Train employees well enough they could get another job, but treat them well enough so they never want to.
This reminds me of a meme I saw a couple of years ago. It was something like:
CFO to CEO: What if we spend the time and money to train the employee and they just leave?
CEO to CFO: What if we don’t train them to be better, and they never leave?
Don’t aim to have others like you; aim to have them respect you.
I included this one because of the conflicted feelings I have over it. I wish Kevin would have expanded more on this topic. Though, that isn’t really the format for this blog post. Ultimately, I don’t think this is meant to be taken on it’s face. More as a thought exercise. And/or “if your next action is toward one or the other – go toward respect.”
I’m looking at this from 2 points of view: Work and Personal Life. In our personal lives, I can see the benefits of people we know respecting us. Or, even more so, the downsides of our friends NOT respecting us. That’s where many toxic relationships live. Where selfish (or lacking self-awareness) people like you but don’t respect your needs or boundaries.
I guess, where I struggle is: If they don’t like you, why would they stick around long enough to learn enough to respect you. I mean, like, really respect you. Not the minimum level of human decency we all would expect. I am talking about the kind of respect where it’s similar to admiration. That takes time and observation to build. Unless they have ulterior motives, why would someone hang out that long with someone they don’t like.
This is much easier in a workplace setting because there is an intrinsic ulterior motive built in. That being payroll. If people want to get paid, they must stick around. So it’s easier to build respect organically. Of course, some people will “demand” respect. Leaving open the argument that it’s not real respect.
However, the existence of pay can make The Other stick around. But only or a period of time. We are seeing, lately, that the bar has been raised for employers. Now, more than ever, good employees are not putting up with as much shit from their employees. “Because that’s how it was when I was coming up” is going out the window. Great employees, who want to contribute, are leaving their jobs if they don’t like how they are treated.
And ‘old school’ employers are freaking out. The stick is broken. And they want ALL THE CARROTS for themselves.
So, as an employer or supervisor, I think there has to be some minimum-necessary amount of liking. And that liking is probably higher now than it’s ever been. And it’s going to be different for each person – supervisor, employee, and role. It seems like the hard part is finding the correct level of ‘liking’ while not letting it overshadow the ‘respect’. Which probably isn’t a 51% 49% thing. It’s probably more like 5 units of respect for 2.5-3 units of like.
I don’t actually know. Something to think about more.
The foundation of maturity: Just because it’s not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
Look up a picture of Jocko Willink. Then look up his information of “Extreme Ownership.” Great stuff.
And I double dog dare you to convince him that he’s wrong.
A multitude of bad ideas is necessary for one good idea.
I often say “This isn’t THE answer. Though I think it could be a radical idea that leads to a talk – that leads to an idea that could be THE answer.”