Reading Notes for:

How to Win Friends & Influence People

By Dale Carnegie

Principal Five:  Let the other guy save face.

“I ain’t much, baby.  But I’m all I got!”

B.F. Skinner showed that when criticism is minimized and praise is maximized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poor things atrophied.

When praise is specific, it comes across as more sincere.

Principal Six:  Praise the slightest improvement, every improvement.  Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

Shakespeare:  Assume the virtue you have not.

If you give someone the reputation to live up to, it can change them.

  • Give a dog a bad name and you might as well hang him.

Principal Seven:  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Principal Eight:  Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to change.

Lady who was mad about kids tearing through lawn made the worst of them her “detective” and put him in charge of keeping people off her lawn.

The effective leader should keep in mind:
  1. Be sincere. Do not promise what you cannot deliver.  Concentrate on benefits to others.Know exactly what you want them to do.
  2. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what they really want.
  3. Consider the benefits they will receive.
  4. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
  5. When you make the request, convey it in a manner that they personally will benefit. Show him the benefits he will get.

Principal Nine:  Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

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